


ten reasons why Steve Rogers hates living with Maria Hill

by macbethattempest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Developed Relationship, F/M, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Shenanigans, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6985789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macbethattempest/pseuds/macbethattempest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The follow up to Ten Reasons Why Steve Rogers Hates Sleeping With Maria Hill</p>
            </blockquote>





	ten reasons why Steve Rogers hates living with Maria Hill

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ten Reasons Why Steve Rogers Hates Sleeping With Maria Hill](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6973228) by [remnants_of_a_lost_dream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/remnants_of_a_lost_dream/pseuds/remnants_of_a_lost_dream). 



> Because, you know, nothing is ever simple.

**#1**

Maria likes clean _but cluttered_. Steve likes clean _and minimalistic_.

Thus, from the very first day they started livings together, they chose sides. _Like middle schoolers._

So while Steve's side of the room is nearly bare, with just a drawing of Maria hanging on the wall and a few things of utility, Maria's side of the room has boxes, and an antique radio, and three stationary stands, and books piled upon books, and rings and earrings scattered on the vanity, and notepads and knives and god knows what.

And Steve can't stand the bloody sight.

**#2**

Maria loves taking long showers. Especially, in their claw footed marble bathtub. So she finishes the hot water every morning before going to work.

Steve tried showering first, and _the claw footed tub, Lord_ , and then he finished the hot water every morning.

Then they tried showering together. Things got heated up way beyond the water, and that got them late to work every day.

So they take alternate showers, careful not to finish all the hot water and careful not to see or touch while the other is showering.

**#3**

Steve loves sex. Maria loves sex.

So they've christened almost every piece of floor and furniture in the house; cleanly, messily, dirtily, savagely.

And after every bout, Maria dozes in post coital happiness while Steve, the neat freak, cleans up after them.

**#4**

Maria is a terrible cook.

But that's not the problem.

The problem is that she's an _enthusiastic_ cook.

So, while she cooks enthusiastically, Steve has to try out her creations, and then smile, while his stomach _dies_ inside.

**#5**

Maria hogs the blankets.

So Steve starts hogging her.

**#6**

Maria hates watching Game of Thrones and she starts cluttering up the room whenever Steve puts it on.

Suffice to say, it doesn't end well.

Sheets being stripped off the bed and utensils being thrown here and there to the background of people being slaughtered do not a good living atmosphere make.

**#7**

Maria brings work home. There are always some papers to be signed and some tasks to be done and some messages to be sent.

So, everyday, Steve lounges for an hour or two and then he sighs, gets to his feet, and fucks her into oblivion.

(On further note, this is not really a hardship for him.)

**#8**

Whenever they fight, Steve is supposed to take the couch and Maria the bed.

 _Why_? "Because I need my beauty sleep and you, don't." (Maria's words, not his)

Putting a six foot four man on a couch does not a good sleep guarantee. It guarantees scrunching up and back pains and leg cramps and morning irritated mess.

**#9**

And as Maria joins him on the couch in the night, because however serious the fight might be, Maria can't stand to sleep without him, it becomes an even tighter fit.

And they scrunch up into each other and somehow,

 _manage_.

**#10**

Steve can't stand to be somewhere else now. On missions, his sole motive is to get to her,

in their house,

on their bed,

in their shower,

on their turf.


End file.
